And Thus The Offense Starts...

... in an effort to turn my family completely off from reading (just kidding, guys. Kind of), um, did you know that I am starting a band? A Comedy Erotica Bluegrass band? Name? Why, Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls, of course!! I'm purposely spelling my last name wrong because a) doy, the juxtaposition of opposites, and b) that's how everyone wants to spell it anyway, and c) I really want to confuse Google. I'm not sure if that last one makes sense.

Anyway, after a successful Script Frenzy month of April (oh, yeah, since I haven't been blogging, you may not know I wrote the first draft of a screenplay!), I decided that I really love the project-a-month format. Though it's been considerably more difficult this month to get up at 5am and write a bluegrass song (hello, neighbor!), my goal for May was to pen 20-25 songs (lyrics first, music second). Now, May isn't over yet, so I could potentially bang out another 13+ songs over the weekend, but I'm guessing that's unlikely. But I would like to present to you the working titles of the collection of ditties I'm building for an album I'd like to have done by the end of the year.

I Would Go Gay For You
(Don't You Dare) Pee On Me
'Onna Get My Buzz On (Ol' Blue)
That's Right (I Wanted To Fuck My Cousin)*
Does This Strap-On Make Me Look Fat?
You Bore Me With Your Dirty Talk
Dirty Curls

I feel like I'm missing one, but that's what I have so far. Here are the incomplete lyrics for "I Would Go Gay For You":

I would go gay for you
I'd swing that way for you
Gangway, coming through,
I'm gonna make my lez debut

Would ya go gay for me?
It might be fun, you'll see
No need to go to Berkeley
People would buy it; we're two hot betties

You don't know the effort
I employ to look into your eyes
When all I really want to do
Is put my head between your thighs
Typically I go for men who sweat
with hairy chests
they are the best
But I feel that I must confess
I'm totally obsessed
with your perfect breasts

I'm gay for you
Let's not delay this breakthrough
A dick ain't gonna make do
Is this some kinda homo coup?


The line-up?**
Me on Banjo and lead vocals, doy.
Max Sparber on jug & washboard, vocals, ukulele, whatever else he wants
Marne Gerdes, guest ukulele
Tom Tillotson, ragtime piano
Colin McLean (if he can handle his sister talking about sex), pedal steel
Hilary Davis, violin (the "real" musician)
Nicole Tollefson on guitar

This is all very tentative of course, but I've talked to all these peeps and everyone's excited, but for some I think it's excitement on the okay-we'll-see-if-you-follow-through tip. Dat's cool. I'm for reals.

More later!!!

*don't freak out, family
**subject to change because these things do