Minneapolis' First Encyclopedia Show

This Sunday, my buddies Mike Fotis & Allison Broeren are hosting the first Encyclopedia Show in this part of the country.  They have asked me to play "The Gummi Bears" theme song... you know the one:



I also wrote a song about Bears.  As in... Gay Bears:

I Think I’m In Love With A Bear
lyrics & music © Courtney McLean 2012

V1
When I was 17, I had this fantasy
Someday I’d lay a man much heftier than me
Then you came along, you came along

I dreamt ‘bout this big stud ‘n’ me
1 part Hell’s Angel, 2 parts Cuddly
But you said, “Girl, You got me all wrong.”

BRIDGE
“Girl, I know what’s on your horny mind.
And I’m flattered - no really, you are too kind.
But this face ain’t got no room
For a beard like you”

CHORUS
Oh then, I’m going home, I’m gettin’ surly
Cuz now it’s clear he’s way too girly
He’s hairy, big, and burly,
I’d’ve never guessed his name was Curly

Where was my gadar before I overshared?   
I think I’m in love with a bear.

Flashback Post: Young Adult

Originally from October 20, 2011, but I never finished writing it. So here you go:

The latest chapter in my life as an acquaintance of Diablo Cody's was closed last night as practically the whole Lounge Lizards crew and I were ON THE LIST to go see a very secret screening of Cody & Jason Reitman's "Young Adult," starring Charlize Theron & Patton Oswalt.

I wasn't on the original email list from Diablo herself to the Minnesota crew. The email was forwarded to me by our main Diabs liaison: "FREE MOVIE" the subject line read. Then followed a note from D--Brook. Brook is what I call her now. I feel like it's more appropriate with her motherhood thing and being less in the public eye, now she's not so much a celebrity as a just person that writes and gets paid for it. Very handsomely, I imagine. But I digress. Brook offered us all a place on the list for VIP reserved seating in the theater. I emailed with an RSVP yes to the liaison before tracking Brook's email down to tell her myself I would be there. I wasn't expecting a response, but I got one:

"Courtney, I'm so glad you're coming! It should be a nice night.

I hope all is well with you too-- I've been following your career all this time, it looks like you're having a blast and kicking ass. Hope to talk more soon when I have a nice Polish cocktail in front of me.

See you very soon! xoxo"

Wha wha wha WHAAAAA??? She's "been following" my career "all this time?" That seriously made my day, be it lip service or not.

Fast forward to last night. My girls and I arrived 15 minutes prior to showtime at the theater where a line wrapped around the side of the building. Urgent texts from another friend made us believe we may have missed our chance to get inside, that we would have to wait in the line. We walked past a woman who harshly announced, "It's sold out." We said, "We're on the list." A moment of hesitation and the woman retorted, "So was I!" Uh oh. But remember when we went to the preview of "Juno?" We had reserved seats! My girls are bold. One of us slipped inside the door to the box office to see one of our fellow VIPers in line for concessions, instructing us to tell the gal at the table at the front of the line our names and they would be... on the list. And so they were.

We got our tickets and headed inside to see two halves of "Reserved" rows filled by our buddies: the circle of friends through which I was initially introduced to Brook. The people with whom I've attended countless nights of karaoke and parties, one of which was at the Playboy Mansion for Brook's birthday a few years ago. And it felt like the band was back together. I wasn't in Minnesota to watch Brook's rise to fame; I arrived a few months after she had already moved to Los Angeles just as "Juno" was being released. But I felt at home as The Adopted in this little group and last night it felt like I was there all along.

Apparently the people who had received passes to the movie didn't even know what movie they were going to see, or that Brook & director Jason Reitman would be there. But it was a full theater of fans when the two of them walked out into the auditorium to greet the cheering crowd.

As for the movie itself, I did enjoy it, despite it leaving a pain in my chest from the excruciatingly visceral assholishness and stupidity of Mavis Gary. The movie's got no redemptive arc, which is fine by me; I kinda wanted to see what "eventually happens" to the character though. Does she get what's coming to her? Or is nothing coming to her and well, sorry peeps, that's life? The film was apparently just how Brook wanted it to be, so I think we're looking at the latter. Sometimes people just keep going through life the way they want to see it. I guess that makes Mavis Gary an everywoman.

The movie ended, we clapped, and Brook shuffled up the aisle from the front of the theater, leaned over us and said, "Nye's? See you at Nye's?" Broadcast it, why doncha, girl? We wanna hog you all to ourselves.

On our way out, we got this pretty rad poster commemorating the evening:



Upon arriving at Nye's, everyone was already there and standards were being sung accompanied by the pianist, and what's this? Brook sitting at a table signing our posters? Back to the car we went to retrieve them, against the warnings of our fellow VIPers, assuming that Brook would feel put out to sign posters for her friends. At any rate, I now have an autographed "Young Adult" poster.

I went out for a smoke (yes, I had started smoking again earlier this year and have since quit again for 2 months) and when I came back in, I learned that everyone, including Brook, had been telling Todd how awesome I am. Nothing like coming in from a self-esteem-destroying activity into a freshly-laundered Snuggie of compliments, including another one from Brook about my adorable rainbow pixie cut. "I went to Burning Man this year," I explained regarding my coif. "Oh yeah, Burning Man'll do that to ya," she replied," I've always wanted to go." I highly recommended it and I think I threw in something about Kidsville (a camp at BM where there are children of varying ages; I saw 4-year-olds, I'm pretty sure).


Me N Todd, photo by Molly P

Brook got up to sing a song, which I don't remember, but I do remember being absolutely BLOWN AWAY by her voice. I've heard her sing before and every time, I'm just floored by what a compelling and naturally high voice she has. I was inspired to write a duet, which I never did, but I might do soon.

I also ate most of Jason Reitman's birthday cake.

There was this woman that was sitting amongst us who later got into the car to go back to the hotel with Brook & Jason. I think her name was Megan. I didn't recognize her; I think she may have been with the movie company? But she told me she was watching me from behind during the movie that evening. And she said I was laughing at all the things no one else was laughing at... and it was for that reason she could tell why Brook and I were such good friends. I told her that, unfortunately, Brook and I weren't that close, that I mostly knew her peripherally through all these other wonderful people, but that I knew she and I have a similar sense of humor and if given the chance, would probably become good friends. Maybe someday.

Anyway, Young Adult. Go see it.

My friend Ross squeezing a bee

Sure, there's a story behind this. But why ruin it?

I mean, you're gonna consume *anyway*...

Sometimes I forget that hey, we live in a consumerist culture. And it's kinda what our economy depends on. So, when you want to buy, buy local. Of course.

Black Friday angers me. Mostly because people literally die so that consumers can get insane deals on overpriced shit that will break down in half a decade anyway. You know what I love? The 1970s model Sunbeam MixMaster that my friend's mom gave me a couple of years ago.



That same friend also gave me her old Electrolux vacuum. It works. It works well. I love it. And the bags are still available. Awesome.


It looks something like this.

Unfortunately, my lack of penchant for shopping and wanting new things all the time like a good American means that I wear jeans with crotch holes patched and re-patched and underwear with tan-brown faded period stains for YEARS. Whatever, they're clean.

But I just LOVE The Imaginary Foundation Shirts and usually I wait till sales, but these are new items for which I frequently drop coin.



It says "Cosmic High-Roller." And it's Stephen Hawking. How rad is that????

Timelines

On Thursday, June 23, after teaching a two-hour theater class to five kids at Fridley High School, I bounced over to St. Paul to pick up my first-ever check for professional on-camera work from one of my agents at Talent Poole. Tom Poole was in the office, but my check was not. I had to go pick it up from his wife and partner in the business, Geanette Poole, whom I had never met. But before I left, Tom asked if I had a little time to chat with him about a project for which he thought I would be a great addition. Inside my thought factory, I had a blip of "I just want to grab my check and get back to getting my stuff done!" My stuff, to which I always escape when I don't want to do something else. But then I reconsidered: "I better stay and talk. He is my agent, after all, and he is talking about a job." What proceeded was a conversation that had me almost in tears of laughter and slack-jawed with all the ideas bandied about. I left there bubbling with excitement for my coming relationship with this agency and with Tom, who was clearly enchanted with my work and my potential and my talent.

I drove to Tom & Geanette's home just a few blocks away to pick up my check, which Geanette had accidentally taken home in a flurry of some sort. Wiggling up to me came their little dog, by which Tom warned me against getting licked. Geanette was younger than I imagined... she actually reminded me a lot of an old high school friend's hip and gentle mother. I retrieved the payment and shook hands, exchanged smiles and was on my way.

Four nights later, June 27, I emailed Talent Poole to ask about getting my voiceover career ramped up: getting my demo done, being placed on their website, doing my own website? I received a response from a woman I've never dealt with before telling me the agency was on hold due to a medical emergency and Geanette would respond when things calmed down, probably after a month. I was worried for the Poole family, but my slowly budding career was more on the forefront of my mind.

See, about 9 days prior to my email, on June 18, I ran into my buddy John at a mutual friend's wedding. John informed me that he had taken a job as an agent at Nuts, a "rival" agency in town (I refuse to believe that anyone is actually in rivalry with anyone else... unless they are, but that Minnesota Nice gets in the way. Yeah, I'm sure that's it). He was a little bummed I had gone with Talent Poole, an exclusive agency, meaning I couldn't also be with Nuts. Nevertheless, John called me a couple days later, maybe on June 20, to ask me to come in to audition anyway. I returned his call and said, "sure, why not?" I like being wanted.

Skip to June 23, meeting with Tom. Skip to June 27, email from Talent Poole re: medical emergency. Which brings us to the next day, during which I found out the medical emergency was that Tom had been hit by a car on June 24 or 25... I have read two different dates.

I *just* saw him. It's so weird when that happens. I just saw him the day before an accident that fractured his skull, resulting in severe brain trauma and a coma.

Tom passed away on July 6.

I had my audition with Nuts on July 7. I was melancholy and felt like I was betraying my agent in a time of need, but that's my M.O. Taking on guilt when I don't need to.

July 11, I received the letter from Nuts offering representation. A week later, I mailed off my acceptance with 12 headshots/resumes. I promptly emailed Geanette (a draft I had been saving till I knew it was what I wanted to say) to let her know that I was making a business decision to go with the other agency because Talent Poole was on hold and because I wasn't sure exclusivity was the right choice for me to make as a newbie to the business here. She emailed me back almost immediately wishing me luck and letting me know that I always had a place there should I choose to come back. And also that Talent Poole wasn't "on hold!" I guess I was misinformed, or just assumed because I hadn't heard anything further since my email on June 27, the status remained. Oh well. The point is that bridges were not burned. And my decision feels right.

I had only had two conversations with Tom in person: the aforementioned, and on the day I came over to their office to sign on as talent. On both occasions, Tom's Arkansian drawl and playful distaste for being indoors out of the sun struck the "kindred spirit" chord in me, as weird as that might seem. But I can't really talk much about him, having not truly known him, so I suggest you read this and this and this to get an idea of what a loss this is to Tom's family and the Twin Cities theater community.

A Level Up.

A few months ago I got an email from a man that said something like, "I've tried to contact you a few times, but if I don't hear back from you this time, I won't waste your time anymore. I have seen your work and am interested in involving you in a project."

Project involvement? To which I didn't respond? P'shaw! Gawd knows I can't say no to just about anything. I searched my email inbox, my spam, my trash folder for this dude's name and I couldn't find anything. Of course, I responded right away: "I'm sorry, but I don't think I've heard from you previously - I'm usually very punctual in responding to performance opportunities..." TRUE. Usually.

This man ended up being Mike Todaro, one of the geniuses behind The Producing House, an outfit here in the Twitties that, you guessed it, produces. Produces theater. And by the looks of it - the kind that I usually avoid at all costs.

Well, that's not exactly accurate. I *did* see "We Gotta Bingo" with aforementioned girl crush Dawn Brodey (with whom, by the by, I just did an awesome variety show last night and got an invitation to go on her houseboat. TCB, baby, T. to the C. to the B.). But also, because now I'm a slightly less judgmental, barely less self-righteous unemployed actor (just as an actor I'm unemployed... mostly because I'm currently employed full time as an office drone).

Editor's note: now that I'm scrolling through TPH's roster, the shows they do actually look pretty awesome. See? Judgmental. Slightly less, but still.

Aaaanyhooters. After Mike asked me to be on this show and before I knew much about it or knew much about his company, I saw this cast list, which is made up, by almost 50%, of performers I love and admire and have worked with. So, I was like, why not?

So Mike tells me about the show. It's called "Celebrity Autobiography," it's been running for the past few years in New York (+1), it consists of actors reading big celebrities' autobiographies on stage (+1 for little preparation & lots of personality), I would be part of the regular local cast (+1), it's monthly (+1, steady, but small paycheck), and there would be nationally-known entertainers involved (+3 for the connections). Sounded good to me, sign me up!

Well, it happened last Friday night and it was so much fun. Myself and another local actress, George Keller, took to the stage with our big personalities to read the pieces given to us just a few days prior for the little preparation I mentioned earlier. Joining us for the two shows that evening were creators Gene Pack & Dayle Reyfel, actors Tim Bagley and Michael Urie, and Illeana Douglas. Illeana Douglas! I didn't really know who the other people were because I rarely watch TV, but I know who Illeana Douglas is! She laughed at two of my jokes! Everyone was really nice. Michael Urie even let me videotape him wishing my friends Allegra & Amy a happy life together as they got married the next day. I won't be sharing the video because of SAG rules (I think there's rules against it), but believe me: he was so sweet about it.

We had a decent-sized crowd in a large space, the Loring Theater, but we killed. We had people dying, tears streaming down their faces. My friends that came to see the show said it was exactly what they needed at the end of a long week. It was an amazing time and extremely gratifying. I can't wait for the next one, which will be at the end of August. I can't wait to see who we'll be performing with.

Here's Kristin Johnson reading the same piece I read (I was way more earnest, innocent, and dead pan):


So, yeah, I feel like I'm a level up.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

This is a 2+ minute version of this story, as told to the folks at Minnesota Public Radio, who did a fine job of editing together the two pieces of my recounting.

Small Tales: Don't play the Backstreet Boys from MPR Art Hounds on Vimeo.